** picks up phone dorks out in his bluetooth VOIP-compatible headset **
The Employer Handbook: “Nyello.”
Two Weeks Ago: “Hi Handbook. This is “Two Weeks Ago” calling. I wanted to let you know that Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter vetoed the “Promoting Healthy Families and Workplaces” Bill, also known as the paid sick leave legislation. I read about that legislation on your blog back in February, and I was wondering when you were going to get around to updating your readers.”
Handbook: “Yeah, I meant to write about —. Hold please. I have another call coming in. Hello?”
Last Week: “Hi there. It’s “Last Week.” Is now a good time? I tried to contact you — well — last week, to find out why you hadn’t told your readers that Councilman Greenlee didn’t have the votes to override Mayor Nutter’s veto of Philly’s paid sick leave bill. You ok? I’m concerned.”
Handbook: “I’m fine. Just been busy, I guess.”
LW: “Because now paid sick leave is done in Philly. And I know you target local readers. Look, if you need some help over there…”
Handbook: “I’m cool. It’s all good.”
LW: “You sure? I mean –”
Handbook: “Hey, Last Week. I’m fine. How’s your employment-law blog, the one that gets thousands of hits going? Oh wait, you don’t have one, do you?”
LW: “Hey, no need to get testy, nerd.”
Handbook: “I got your nerd right here. ** grimaces at crappiness of that lame comeback ** And why don’t you come say that ish to my face? Oh wait, you can’t, can you? Last. Week.” ** swish **
LW: “Hey, I’m not one who is going to blog about a made-up conversation with “Two Weeks Ago” and “Last Week.” You’re going to blog about this, aren’t you? You’re going to blog about this…”
** sigh **