You and I, we need to have a talk about yesterday’s survey.

In yesterday’s blog post, I asked you whether your employees trust your human resources department. This poll was anonymous. I only logged most of the IP addresses. Just kidding. I logged them all. Just kidding.

Ok, enough kidding around. You want to know how messed up everyone else’s workplace is. So, let’s pull that band-aid right off.

Oops, wrong one.

Let’s try this instead.

Ouch, that still hurts.

Technically, there were more than 100 respondents. But when more of your businesses start retaining me — hint hint — is when I start paying for the upgraded SurveyMonkey features.

And based on the poll results, that may be a pretty wise investment.

Then again, the glass is a little more than half full. Fifty-one percent of you think that your employees trust your HR Department. So, we could say…

Most HR professionals firmly believe that their employees place their precious, unwavering trust in the Human Resources Department.

We could say that.

Or I could slowly put away the lipstick — the lipstick that I borrowed! — with which I dressed this pig. At least to give those of you still vomiting in your mouths from reading the results of this poll time to spit and rinse with Listerine. Or something stronger.

In all seriousness, I’m sitting here at my computer typing this out at 10:45 pm on August 16 at a loss for words as to how to explain these poll results.

Actually, I could go on for a few thousand words about why half of you, excuse me, 49% of you responded as you did. But, I’m not in the trenches.

So, maybe you can help me out.

I’d like to hear from you. I want you to email me, and I want you to tell me why you think — generally — that employees do not trust HR.

To be clear, I’m not asking you to describe the conditions at your company. That was yesterday’s anonymous poll. Today is a macro, 30,000-foot, birds-eye take on HR-employee relations, generally.

Please email me. I’d love to hear from you.