Employment Law Blog Carnival: Hollywood Casting Call Edition

Welcome everyone to the Employment Law Blog Carnival: Hollywood Casting Call Edition.

[Editor’s Note: The original theme for this post was the “Employment Law Blog Carnival: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll Edition.” I had this bright idea to begin by cutting and pasting the lyrics to Guns N’ Roses’ “My Michelle,” and, let’s just say I bailed after the first line.]

So that leaves us with Plan B, where, after the jump, I have aggregated some of the best, recent posts from around the employment-law blogosphere and fit them together into a single theme: an open casting call.

Because just the other day, this theme came to me after waking from a Codeine/Claritin-D/Mucinex DM-induced slumber, in which I dreamt about casting a recent post of mine — the one where an employee lost out on an FMLA retaliation claim when her employer fired her after finding Facebook photos of her drinking at a local festival — while on FMLA. My movie will star Kim Kardashian, in her silver screen debut, as the employee. And Alan Thicke, who played Dr. Jason Seaver on “Growing Pains,” could play the company decision-maker. We’ll call it “FML Aye Yai Yai!“

[Editor’s Note: I’m throwing Thicke a bone here. Don’t you think? According to IMDB.com, he just finished production on “Fugget About It“, in which ex New York mobster Jimmy Falcone joins the Witness Protection Program and is relocated, with his family, to Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Fugget about it, indeed.]

So that’s the idea. More great posts and imaginative casting decisions, after the jump…

* * *

Hamilton Ontario’s own, Eugene Levy, stars as a History professor in “Hands off My Mac, Jack.” Adapted from a Robert Fitzpatrick blog post, it’s a story in which a Canadian Supreme Court Strongly Articulates That Employees Have A Protectable Privacy Interest in Their Company-Issued Computers.

From Lorene Schaefer at Win-Win HR comes a story of intrigue and whodunnit: “Workplace Investigations: The Employee’s Lawyer’s Perspective,” a new Lifetime Original starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as the employee’s lawyer and Joseph “Don’t call me, Joey” Lawrence as the employee. Whoa!

Robin Shea offers up “Obama 2.0: What employers can expect to see in the next four years?” Stephanie Thomas weighs in with “Obama’s Next Four Years: What It Means for HR and Employment Law.” And Daniel Schwartz has “Four Potential Employment Law Impacts of Obama’s Next Four Years.” But, Dennis Haysbert, as Major League‘s Pedro Serrano, narrates the thrilling adaptation of these stellar posts. It stars Flex Alexander as Barack Obama and James Rebhorn as Joe Biden. Clint Eastwood directs.

Joseph Ginarte writes that “Post-Recession Age Discrimination” is on the rise. Wilford Brimley stars in the silver-screen adaptation, “This Old Man,” a story in which, at age 80, Brimley goes back to school for his college degree only to enter a job market that refuses to give him a chance. That is, until one woman, played by Katy Perry, does. Bravo, Katy. Who’s a Firework now? You are. That’s who.

Janette Levey Frisch, the new kid on the blogging block, offers up a three-part series entitled: “Employment-at-Will: Walking the Fine Line” (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3). Casting for the Hollywood blockbuster, “Walk the Fine Line,” is a no brainer. Joaquin Phoenix will play Cashy John and Reese Witherspoon will star as July Carter. Gold!

From Randy Enochs’s blog post “Employer Takes Over Employee’s LinkedIn Account, Loses Computer Fraud and Abuse Act Claim” comes “Employer Takes Over Employee’s LinkedIn Account, Loses Computer Fraud and Abuse Act Claim.” It stars Jodie Foster as the employee, Alec Baldwin as the company agent who assumes control of the LinkedIn account, and Miley Cyrus as Sunny, Jodie Foster’s once loyal assistant who double-crosses her by turning over the account password which, ironically, is “password,” to Baldwin.

Wendell Pierce, Keira Knightley, David Johansen, and Michael Lerner comprise the four members of the National Labor Relations Board in the horror flick: “Board Games,” a story based on John Holmquist’s post: “The NLRB will be active in the non union workplace and more visible to the public.“

Seinfeld fans: You never thought they’d actually make it, did you? But I give you “Prognosis Negative.” Based on Adam Whitney’s “You’re Damned if You Give a Negative Reference,” this pulse-pounder stars Ryan Gosling as Timothy O’Brien, a paramedic who sues after getting a bad reference. Damn you! Damn you to hell!

The news up in Washington from Alexandra Gilliland is that a “Proposed Seattle Ordinance Would Limit Employers’ Right to Investigate Applicants’ Criminal Backgrounds.” Johnny Chan folds his A’s and 8’s for the opportunity to star as City Councilman Bruce Harrell, the champion of this legislation, in “Seattle Slew.“

Robert Ellerbrock writes, “With Little Change in IRS Retirement Plan Limits, Ample Room Still to be Creative with Executive Deferred Compensation Plans.” Sorry, Robert. Good post. But, this one’s going straight to dvd. I’ll give you C. Thomas Howell and, for a little sex appeal, Heather Graham. (Anne Hathaway bailed on me. She’s busy starving herself for a role on Les Miserables).

He’s perfect for the role. Chris Tucker, who played Smokey in “Friday,” tokes up in “Sticky Icky,” a story of a Colorado resident who finds that, as Donna Ballman writes, “Legal Marijuana Use Can Still Get You Fired.” (Even for your cataracts).

Next is the movie with what is shaping up to be the number one soundtrack of the year, featuring Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” Shinedown’s “Call Me,” and Lady Gaga’s “Telephone.” It’s “Let’s Be Reasonable About This,” based on Jon Hyman’s “More on telecommuting as a reasonable accommodation.”

Based on Philip Miles’s Case of the Week #115 “Butt Slapping . . . Not Harassment?“…

[Editor’s Note: Meyer, now is the time to ask yourself, “How much do you like your present job?”]

Moving on. Ever wondered how you can go about “Managing Intermittent Leave Without Intermittently Losing Your Mind“? Mark Toth has the answers at his blog. And Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, and Jeffrey Jones reprise their starring roles 26 years later in “Ferris Bueller’s Hours Off.” Oh yeah.

“Is There Free Speech at Work?” That’s the question. Heather Bussing has the answer and the inspiration for “Sometimes Yes; Sometimes No,” starring Zack Galifianakis, Zac Efron, Zachary Quinto. Zazzoo!

10 Signs That One of Your Managers is a Workplace Bully from Dawn Lomer stars Colin Smith, who played 9th Grade O’Doyle (scroll down, like a lot) in “Billy Madison.”

Next is “Mo Money. Mo Moonshine, Whiskey, Pop, and Whatever Michigan is Known for,” starring — who else — Damon Wayons and Marlon Wayans, which is loosely (read: not at all) based on “Tax Savings for Employers in Michigan, Tennessee, Ohio, and Kentucky” from Jewell Lim Esposito and David Mohl.

In a powerhouse performance, Warren G stars in “Regulate,” based on Ari Rosentein’s “New California Employment Laws To Go Into Effect in 2013.” and Jocelyn Burton’s “New California Employment Laws.” Get those tissues ready and prepare for a heartfelt Oscar-acceptance shout-out to Nate Dogg.

Stuart Rudner blogs “When trust has been destroyed: Just cause for dismissal.” The Canadian adaptation, “Haste Makes Waste,” is set for release next year and stars Dustin Diamond as Wayne Gretzky. No, not that Wayne Gretzky. Just some guy who plays a total screw-up and happens to have the same name as the “Great One,” which, in turn, helps him to keep his job.

Last, but not least, is Jessica Miller-Merrell’s “3 Myths About Severance Pay.” I’m working on a script for this. The working title is “The Check’s In the Mail,” with Jack Nicholson as James Armstrong, Chief Executive Officer of Armstrong Enterprises. Here’s what I have so far:

Employee: “I want the truth!”

Armstrong: “You can’t handle the truth!”

Employee: “What do you mean?”

Armstrong: “You can’t handle the truth!”

Employee: “I heard you the first time.”

Armstrong: “You can’t handle the truth!”

Employee: “Can I go now?”

Armstrong: “You can’t handle the truth!”

Employee: “If I sign this release, will you agree to shut the eff up?”

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, cut!

If you made it this far, kudos to you! A special thank you to all who submitted blog posts. Be sure to come back next month when Mark Toth at ManpowerGroup Blogs: The Employment Blawg will host the December Edition of the Employment Law Blog Carnival. 

If you would like to submit a post for a future edition of the Carnival, just email me and I’ll add you to the mailing list.